"The feeling of being under the crosshairs never left me": Kherson resident on life under occupation

Kherson has been under the occupation of the Russian aggressor since the beginning of March 2022. Ukrainians in the controlled territory learned about the results of the enemy's activities in Bucha and Irpin with pain, witnessing and hearing stories from all corners where the boots of the terrorist invasion stepped. Artur Ivanenko, a native of Kherson, saw with his own eyes what the occupier could do with the city and its population. In his 26 years, the young man managed to build a career as a dentist, engage in activism, and volunteer work. For the first time in a long time, he dared to share his memories from the period when the walls of his home began to serve as both a fortress and a prison at the same time.

"Can you imagine, we wake up, and the war has started?"

“In Kherson, Artur worked in two dental clinics: a private one and a state one, combining his main occupation with volunteer work. He begins his recollections with the story of a new opportunity - a managerial position in a recently opened branch, offered to him a day before the full-scale invasion. Agreeing to consider the offer over the week, Artur, in excitement, called his cousin and invited her over. During the family meeting, they discussed the current situation in the country and the possibility of a Russian attack. He confesses that they couldn't believe in a full-scale war.”

"Towards the evening, my sister and I went outside to talk about personal matters. Then, unexpectedly, she asked, 'Can you imagine, we wake up, and the war has started?' I replied that it's all nonsense and such a thing couldn't happen."

That night, Artur couldn't fall asleep, feeling anxious. Sleep only came to him around three in the morning, and at dawn, his tearful mother rushed into the room. She informed him about the onset of the invasion. That night, Artur couldn't fall asleep, feeling anxious. Sleep only came to him around three in the morning, and at dawn, his tearful mother rushed into the room. She informed him about the onset of the invasion.

"I didn't immediately believe what was happening. Getting out of bed, I went to my parents' room and saw a broadcast about the start of the 'special operation.' Even after that, I thought it was impossible. Then my mother asked me to go to my sister's house and help move the children's beds to our basement. When I opened the door, I heard a powerful explosion, the shockwave of which literally pushed me back."

Chornobaivka, where the first landing took place, is located not far from the city. It was only when the smoke from the explosion enveloped the area that Artur realized a full-scale war had begun.

"I went to my sister, and when, after gathering our things, we went outside, chaos had already erupted: people were rushing somewhere, a traffic jam several kilometers long had formed on the road to the gas station, locals were fleeing with suitcases. Mass panic had begun. We moved our belongings to the basement of the house, which is large and sturdy. After that, we started calling our close ones, inviting them to join us, to stick together in this moment."

Gunshots and explosions echoed all around. People didn't understand how close the epicenter of the fighting was to them. By evening, all family members had gathered in the basement, and that's when the young man decided to go outside. Opening the door, he heard a quiet sound that gradually grew louder – it was a fighter jet. It flew literally over the house.

"Then the neighbors joined us. We took blankets and spread them in the basement. There were about 40 of us, and being together, we felt safer. That was on the 24th."

"For three days, cars were burning on the streets, and bodies were lying around”

There were many fakes online about Russians already entering Kherson. In the first days after the invasion, Artur monitored the news 24/7, periodically checking webcams around the city. He recalls how he first saw 5 Russian tanks on a camera not far from their house. That's when the realization hit them that they were under occupation. The fighter jet he saw on the first day bred a constant sense of danger. So, for the first two weeks, he didn't go outside at all. He only left the basement to go up to the house and eat, then immediately returned to the improvised shelter, which seemed like the safest place at that time.

"I remember: at dawn on the second or third day, we heard sirens wailing. There were quite a few people trying to resist the occupation forces. Local groups were making Molotov cocktails and preparing for the fight. In reality, it was not preparation but a very great sacrifice."

"When clashes between the occupation forces and the population began in the streets of the city, there was a massive shootout – the sounds of automatic gunfire and explosions filled the air. The first three days were hellish," the young man shares. Relatives who lived nearby recounted that the massacre was under the buildings, with military and local activists climbing onto rooftops. Over the next three days, cars burned in the yards, and the bodies of local residents lay in the streets. No one cleaned up the dead for days. That's when the Ivanenko family realized they had to do something: stock up on supplies, pack emergency bags because they were not prepared for war.

"Two weeks later, we decided to buy groceries. There were three cars in the family: mine, my dad's, and my sister's husband's. Finding private ads, albeit at outrageous prices, we set off in different directions. On that very day, Ukrainian communication disappeared in the city, and the only option was to agree to meet at home in an hour. I remember driving on the roads and constantly looking around. No one was following traffic rules anymore. During this period, military vehicles were only on the main square, as a demonstration that the Russians were in the city. My dad told me that when he saw a tank driving down a street in the city, he was bewildered and didn't know what to do. He just waited until it passed."

"Protesters were being photographed, and afterward, they would disappear, only to return as different people."

"The first protest on the main square of the city took place at noon. The events were covered on social media, and then everyone could see how strongly the people of Kherson were against Russian occupation. After that, a rule emerged – to gather in one place every day at the same time, regardless of the presence or absence of mobile communication."

"Then a big problem arose – protesters were being photographed, and afterwards, they would disappear. Russian military and special agents were doing this. Dissenters were gradually captured and tortured. I had a personal conversation with a guy who went through psychological and physical torture by the Russians. He came back a completely different person."

The situation continued for about a week, and the number of people decreased. While in the city, Artur heard an alarm siren, although it had not been activated once since the beginning of the occupation. After that, powerful explosions began. It turned out to be the Russian military's reaction to the protest. They simply bombarded people with explosives and tear gas. That's when the locals decided not to participate in protest actions anymore, as they started to fear for their own lives.

"We established a rule: upon waking up, clean the phone and unsubscribe from public pages."

During the occupation, the military imposed their rules on the territory, violation of which could cost lives. While walking on the street and accidentally encountering a soldier, one couldn't take out their phone, even if you were on a call at the time. You had to immediately hang up and hide the smartphone. If you failed to do so, the military would start going through your phone, interrogating you about your correspondence, subscriptions to pages, photos, and even calls.

"We established a rule: upon waking up, clean the phone, unsubscribe from public pages, and delete everything as if it were new. When going out, we left the communication smartphone at home and took another one with us. During interrogations on the streets, it was necessary to express a neutral position to preserve lives, but it was a forced neutral position."

"The Russians conducted forced evacuations. They took away children as if to camps, but they never returned them"

Artur did not leave Kherson for several reasons: he did not dare to leave his parents and patients under occupation. At that time, looting was spreading through the city, and his mother and father did not want to leave the house with their pets. The second reason was the absence of official evacuation.

"We heard that evacuation could be done through Mykolaiv, Zaporizhzhia, or Kryvyi Rih, but no one provided any safety guarantees. Many locals suffered during attempts to leave, as the Russians were shelling civilian populations. As for evacuation from the Russian side, it was possible to leave through Crimea. A week before the liberation of Kherson by the Ukrainian Armed Forces, the Russians conducted forced evacuations. They took children as if to summer camps in Crimea, but no one brought them back; they remained there".

Artur had an agreement with his parents that he would try to leave within a month after the announcement of preparations for the so-called “referendum.” He thought there would be time for departure, but the Russians declared its date in just 2 days.

"The timing coincided in such a way that I released all the patients. There were not many people in the city, so returning from work, I packed my things, and the next day I started to leave through Crimea. There was an alternative to enter the territory controlled by Ukraine - Vasylivka, but there were about 5 thousand cars in line, while no more than 5 were allowed to pass each day. My car broke down, and I had to find someone to evacuate it, and the only option left was Crimea. The transit route through Russia is quite complicated and takes about 4 days, but I couldn't stay."

The first border check the guy underwent was in Crimea. There, he was held for 11 hours, just like when leaving Russia for Latvia. However, this was already the second attempt to leave. For the first time, the guy dared to go to Crimea as part of volunteer work. Many people in the city needed medications at that time: insulin, levothyroxine, aspirin-cardio. It was impossible to find them in Kherson. To go for medicines to Crimea, Artur had to pass through 17 checkpoints, each of which thoroughly checked the phone, presence of tattoos, asked questions, and tried to exert psychological pressure. The guy stood in the rain on the street for about 11 hours waiting for a pass.

"I bought the medications and returned. The return procedure is simplified, but the attitude remains unchanged. At passport control, they asked why I was going to Kherson, and then just threw the documents in my face. They themselves do not understand that people forgot in the occupied city."

In the first weeks, work in Kherson came to a halt, and the guy returned to the clinic only after some time. After a month and a half, there was a need to purchase medications, and to ask for time off from work, Artur went to the manager. Asking for permission to take leave for 1-2 weeks, he was offered to write a statement to take unpaid leave.

"The manager laughed and assured me that nothing was needed, as there was no need to write about the trip to Crimea. Upon my return, I went to work and heard that the only option was to formalize dismissal in the HR department. It's as if an intern came to them, and they couldn't just kick him out. That's how they fired me."

"They treated volunteers horribly and tortured them for helping locals."

Artur has his own organization, but he decided to dedicate himself to medicine, so all his volunteer and activist activities were related to it. They provided dental care, removing teeth for free, placing fillings, or doing cleanings. All of this was done in Artur's home office. Other volunteers were involved in educational activities and applied for programs. Before the invasion, activists planned projects on memory preservation and medicine, awaiting responses from donors. After the invasion, activists focused solely on volunteer activities, providing humanitarian and medical aid. Russians treated volunteers poorly, and there were occasional cases of abduction.

"We had a specific person who helped with purchasing food. We met within the framework of projects and continued to collaborate after the occupation. This guy acted as an intermediary. The products were quite expensive, but at least the quality was appropriate. When the time for the second installment came, we couldn't reach him. His relatives informed us that he had been missing for two days. As it turned out, he was taken captive. The Russians treated volunteers horribly and tortured them for helping the locals."

Humanitarian aid and volunteer activities were prohibited. Artur recalls that the Russians issued an ultimatum: there is humanitarian aid from Russia, and the locals must take it. During this, people were always recorded on video, interviewed, and emphasized that only they were helping the residents. In reality, providing assistance to someone could cost you your own life.

"They wanted to apply psychological pressure and deceive everyone. In the end, our activist reappeared after three days, but his psychological state was so fragile that he immediately evacuated from Kherson."

"They entered the office with assault rifles pointed at me."

"I was confident until the end that we would resist. All the residents of Kherson believed and expected that the Ukrainian Armed Forces would liberate the city. When I started working, a patient came to me and told me about a rocket landing near his house, but he wasn't worried because soon the Ukrainian Armed Forces would come. People were so positive, even though their buildings were crumbling; they were waiting for our forces, ready to sacrifice anything just to live freely."

The Russians were spreading messages that they would stay in Kherson forever. One day, as Artur was releasing a patient and waiting for the next one, soldiers started entering at that moment. The administrator explained that there was no space in the schedule, and they couldn't help them. The military didn't agree with the response and demanded services urgently. After that, they entered his office.

"They entered my office with automatic rifles pointed at me. One soldier sat in the chair, and the others surrounded me from the back and sides. They said I needed to extract a tooth because it caused sharp pain. I explained that anesthesia was necessary, and they agreed only on the condition that I would show them all the materials. So, I took out and showed them, loaded the syringe, and administered anesthesia. This soldier lost consciousness, and at that moment, the rifles were directed at me. I quickly started bringing him back to consciousness, and behind me, there was already some activity. They began to think that I had tampered with something. Eventually, he regained consciousness and explained that he forgot to inform them about how he loses consciousness from injections."

Artur admits that the situation may seem funny now, but at that time, it was terrifying. He did everything, and the occupiers left the clinic, but afterward, they started coming constantly, demanding dental treatment. During the time they were in the office, they discussed that they were staying in Kherson forever and that it was the safest place because they planned to drop a vacuum bomb on Mykolaiv soon. The attitude of the Russians was also terrible; they paid, but they pointed their rifles and demanded immediate services.

“The constant feeling of being under threat did not leave Artur. He recalls one situation when he was returning home around three in the afternoon, and a convoy of military vehicles started moving down the street: tanks, APCs, over thirty vehicles, with soldiers on top. They all aimed their rifles at him. At that moment, he didn't know what to do—whether to hide around the corner or continue walking, fearing they might think something was wrong. He just stood there, stunned, thinking, ‘Let this pass quickly; I want to go home.’ It was the most horrifying feeling.”

"I plan to return to Ukraine."

Currently, Artur is in Germany with his sister. Since he hasn't completed all the necessary paperwork yet, he doesn't have the opportunity to engage in any activities. Meanwhile, he keeps an eye on grants and programs, as their partner organizations and half of the activists remain in Kherson. At the moment, Artur is contemplating whether to pursue further education or attempt to validate his diploma and work in the field of medicine. To achieve this, he needs to learn German and obtain the right to take medical exams.

"In Germany, I am temporarily because my mental state is disturbed; I am still coming to my senses. Sometimes, I contemplate therapy with a psychologist. Some people say I'm not returning due to fear of mobilization, but no. I am not conscripted, so I could calmly leave through Ukraine."

The guy tells that every night he awaits explosions, triggered by loud sounds and the roar of planes, but in the future, he plans only to return to Ukraine. Now, the only thing he is waiting for is one short message...

"My third cousin has been serving since 2014. He doesn't communicate often, but periodically he sends us a message consisting of one word, 'Okay.' That's how we understand that he is alive."

... and victory.