Romani and Ukrainian Wedding Traditions: Similarities and Symbolism

Today, we continue the topic of Romani weddings. We have already told you how Romani brides cry due to the hurricane of emotions—just as other girls cry at their weddings. What about the traditions then? What kind of traditions are there? You are not going to believe it but Romani wedding traditions are very much like Ukrainian ones.

Families and the Community

Both cultures perceive a wedding as not merely a union of two individuals but a union of families. Parents and godparents actively participate in the celebrations. Besides, other relatives—even distant ones—are also invited quite often, even though the newlyweds might have not seen them for ages.

«Sometimes, guests may never have been acquainted with the newlyweds. That is not a problem; they are relatives and the newlyweds’ parents know them—that would suffice. Besides, a wedding is a get-together event for Romanis as a community.  After all, other similar ethnicities residing outside their historical homeland (or having no homeland at all), for instance, Jews, Armenians, Assyrians etc get together at a synagogue or a church. In the Romani world, such centre is a family and everything that happens around it – recounts Volodymyr Yakovenko, Director of ARСA Youth Agency for Roma Culture Advocacy.

Family is likewise important in the Ukrainian tradition. Case in point: let us recall trades certain families were into. These trades were actually where they got their last names from. Like surnames, these trades were passed on from father to son. And, similarly, a newlywed young man brought his bride into his home. And so we still have a tradition to get together for Christmas.

The Dowry

Sounds like something ancient, doesn’t it? And maybe it is indeed. However, the dowry did exist both in the Ukrainian and in the Romani culture. And discussing the matter of property which the bride is going to take with her into her new family was an important stage.

Yes, that might be a bit of showing off (recall Ukrainian classical literature featuring detailed description of items a girl’s coffer is full of – author). That said, this phenomenon denotes the desire of parents to provide the newlyweds with a material foundation to launch their common household. Because the boy brings his young wife into his house. And we can see these traditions in both cultures.

Dancing and Music

A wedding is, after all, a grand feast. So one cannot imagine it being celebrated without dancing and music—at least in Romani and Ukrainian cultures.

The Ceremony of Covering the Head

In Romani culture—same as it is in Ukrainian culture—after the marriage ceremony, the bride has a headkerchief tied around her head. This symbolises her new status as a married woman.

Bread as a symbol of wealth

A lot of Romani weddings feature bread as a symbol of wealth and happiness. Ukrainian weddings always feature a korowai — a decorated loaf of bread symbolising prosperity and blessing.

Bread (or korowai) and religious icons are also used by the parents to bless the newlyweds and wish them a happy life.

Do you recall hiltse? That is a sort of pastry. A branch or a stick is covered with dough. Yes, you got that right. This hiltse is present in both cultures. Names of this item may differ, E.g. sometimes it is called dyvni. But the essence and the symbolism are the same. Some ethnographers emphasise that one should differentiate between hiltse and dyvni. Today, though, we shall discuss not the peculiarities of the wedding pastry but the similarities between cultures. The baked hiltse here is but one of the points of contact.

A Test for the Groom

In both of our cultures, either before the wedding or during it, the groom often had to go through certain specific «tests» to prove that he is worthy and ready to take responsibility for his family.

Romani weddings may have featured competitions or tasks to be fulfilled. Ukrainian traditions included «paying off» the bride or complete an assignment. These ‘tests’ are jocular, of course.

Wedding and parental blessing

In many Romani communities, the religious marriage ceremony is the cornerstone of the wedding. Just like Ukrainians, Romanis consider the marriage celebrated before God to be sacrosanct and inseparable. A church marriage (regardless of denomination) symbolises a new beginning—a beginning of a new stage in life—as the union of the couple is certified before God.

Parental blessing, too, is a spiritual tradition. Both Ukrainians and Romanis revere this ritual. Not only does it symbolise parental consent to the marriage but also the fact that the parents support this union, wish the newlyweds a happy life, and bless them as they are about to create a new family. This ceremony usually features icons and embroidered towels which are then handed over to the newlywed couple.

Similarities

So do we have similarities, or do we not? Are Romanis that different indeed? They invest the marriage ceremony with regular, human values: love, support, well-being, longevity, blessing, importance of common values… And despite the fact that cultures differ, they are intertwined indeed. And sometimes, it is a challenge to find out who borrowed which tradition from whom.

And do you recall how the second day of wedding used to be celebrated? Guests dressed in Romani costumes and drove around in a cart. Indeed, sometimes one can encounter this tradition (driving a cart). So here is the question: who borrowed this tradition from whom? Did Ukrainians notice Romanis doing this? Or did the Romanis like the Ukrainian interpretation?

«Romani wedding traditions do not depend upon the country wherein a community resides; they depend upon which ethnic subgroup of Romanis they belong to. Take Donbas juxtaposed with Transcarpathia: these are two historically different regions. Thus, Romanis who have lived in either region had different customs and traditions. Hence their traditions differ a lot. Or, take Crimea. This is yet another region, completely different from both Transcarpathia and Donbas. And even if we do not list all of them but just take the major three or four ethnic subgroups, their respective traditions will still differ. In my opinion, most traditions (not only those pertaining to weddings but all traditions related to calendars and ceremonies) are mostly interpreted through the prism of a certain local culture which was dominant in each specific region where Romanis resided», – recounts Janusz Panchenko, an ethnographer.

Romani Peculiarities

That said, Roma do have their own specific traditions. Mr Panchenko proceeds with his story:

«Crimean Roma have the following traditions: the bride and the groom shall not talk to each other at their wedding. They do not talk to each other—until a certain moment. As soon as one of the guests presents the groom with a certain object. That object may be, say, a sweet (a candy). And then he addresses the lad: «What is this thing that I am giving to the groom?». And the groom replies: «That is a candy». And this happens at each and every wedding: the ceremony is referred to as “untying the groom’s tongue».

This ‘game of silence’ may continue if the groom has a brother. In that case, the bride shall refrain from talking to her brother-in-law for as long as she can, so that he does not hear her voice. This silence signifies her modesty, humility, and kindness. Eventually, as soon as the groom’s brother hears the bride’s voice, he shall be obliged to present her with a gift. 

What do you think about that? Did you know about this similarity? Would you like to know more about Romani wedding ceremonies?